Sunday, September 26, 2010

My Greatest Joy

Lately the sense of heaviness has settled on my shoulders.  Life has been so crazy lately, and everything just keeps flying by.  My baby girl, my tiny dancer, my Gator... she's a preschooler now.  When did that happen?  I drop her off at class every morning and while I'm trying to hold on for an extra second she's trying to push me out the door.  She doesn't always hold my hand anymore, but runs ahead, ready to take on life and everything it throughs at her.  I'm still trying to protect her from it all.  She wants to go off with Papa every Saturday morning.  I still want to cuddle in front of the cartoons.  She wants me to wait in the waiting room at dance class, because only babies need their moms.  I still peek through the door, unable to take my eyes off of her.  She's growing up so fast.  How did I never notice this before?  How did I miss the changes?  It seems like over night the baby girl turned into a little woman.
I'm seeing these same changes in my baby boy.  I think it's harder this time because I know we plan for him to be our last.  He is my baby, and every milestone he passes by is one less thing I'll get to experience again.  I feel a little silly looking at it all this way.  I want my babies to grow and thrive and live life to the fullest.  But watching their little lives fly by is all but breaking my heart.  My littles are my everything. 

So now I have a preschooler who is off to take one the world, and a toddler who is wobbling around with a cool new haircut.  And I smile, because i adore them, but inside a fight back a tear every once in a while, because I know I can't hold on forever.  They will always be my babies, but they just aren't really babies anymore.

On a side note - Oops!  I missed Share a Post Saturday completely!  My Gator has been so sick and yesterday was devoted to her and to school work.  Hopefully I'll be back into the swing of things next week! 

1 comment:

  1. My baby is also our last so I completely understand. I am definitely enjoying him so much because of that knowledge though.


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