Last weekend all hell broke loose in a little town in Texas, and my husband was one of many law enforcement officers who had to battle the bad guys in order to restore a sense of peace. You may have heard about it all... it made national news... but that's not the point of this post...
You see, during the course of this event, two officers and one civilian were shot. Thankfully, they were not killed. And from the moment I heard the news my heart stopped beating. I thought back to three years ago when three officers were shot and killed in this same little town... it was the week my husband started the police academy, and I faced many realities that day.
Being the wife of a police officer is one of those jobs (yes, it is a job in and of itself) that you never get a weekend off from. Police officers are always working, whether in uniform or street clothes, therefore, police families are always on alert as well. I learned that early.
The idea of losing my husband is terrifying, but I have had to accept that it is a possibility. Losing those that we love can happen at any time, but it is something we never really consider. I've had to though. I've had to think about what life would be like, what it would do to our babies, and what it would do to me...
I am crazy in love with my husband. He is my best friend, my lover, my shoulder to cry on, the daddy to my greatest gifts... his voice is one of my favorite sounds, I still get butterflys when he sends me a text, and his breath on my neck still gives me chills... he is my everything. And every day he straps on his bullet proof vest (complete with a small monkey sticker that Gator placed on it long ago, a sticker that always brings a smile to my face, because what would the big tough bad guys think if they only knew...) and his gun and he goes out to face down the demons while I pray I get to hug him one more time.
It took me a full year to stop crying every time he walked out the door to work... I've never decided if that makes me crazy or crazy in love.
Last weekend brought it all back for me though. Anything can happen, at anytime. You can never hug enough, kiss enough, love enough, or hold on tight enough. But you still have to love.
I'm starting to ramble, so I'll end it here... because the truth is, I could talk about my husband all day.